Three Amigos!
"Wherever there is injustice, you will find us."
The Press Scorps are calling the three-way between Obama, Trudeau and Peña Nieto this past week a meeting of the “Three Amigos.” Whether or not it is a reference to the campy 1986 John Landis film of the same name, the allusion has legs.
Picture Barack Obama as Steve Martin’s character, Lucky Day, Justin Trudeau reprising the role of Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms, and Enrique Peña Nieto playing Martin Short’s Ned Nederlander. Tagline: They're Down On Their Luck And Up To Their Necks In Senoritas, Margaritas, Banditos And Bullets!
Scene One, They are behind closed doors, seated around a table. “Well,” says Lucky Obama, “I guess you are wondering why I asked you here.”
“We are in Canada,” reminds Dusty Trudeau.
Lucky Obama: “No matter, we all know who we are don’t we? So what are we going to do about the collapse of the European Union?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.”
Ned Nieto: “Damn it!”
Lucky Obama:” What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.”
Dusty Trudeau: “I take it you are worried about the effect on trade?”
Lucky Obama: “With our trading partners in the East coming apart at the seams, we are going to have to turn our gaze westward. This is why the Trans Pacific Partnership is so important.”
Ned Nieto: “Errr, excuse me. Isn’t what that what you gringos used to say about NAFTA?”
Lucky Obama: "The prescription of withdrawing from trade deals and focusing solely on your local market, that's the wrong medicine. As North America United, we must stick together as our cross-Atlantic trading partners descend into a dogfight over the remaining scraps of their natural resources.
Dusty Trudeau: “No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are…"
Dusty Trudeau, Lucky Obama, Ned Nieto: “The Three Amigos!”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Ned Nieto: “But Lucky, about those natural resources you mentioned….”
Lucky Obama: “Yes, Ned?”
Ned Nieto: “Well you know we are out of oil now, right?”
Dusty Trudeau: “And our tar sands are stranded by low prices, the time-bomb of finance and the Paris Agreement…”
Lucky Obama: “Not to worry my little friends. We are going green! We will lead the world. This Brexit vote is not just going to knock the London finance market off its pedestal, it will gut and skewer Europe’s solar and wind manufacturing capacity. We can carve up that market and sell everything from finance packages to Tesla batteries to our new partners across the Pacific.”
Ned Nieto: “I am as committed as my amigos to producing half of our continent's power from renewable energy by 2025, but you know we are not going to be able to get there by selling margaritas to tourists in Mazatlan, we will need some help.”
Dusty Trudeau: “No amigo stands alone, Ned. Canada will put up many beautiful aluminum windmills in Mazatlan, so that our winter vacationers from Saskatchewan and Alberta can enjoy air conditioning while they sip their margaritas.”
Ned Nieto: “Many windmills?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Oh yes, many!”
Ned Nieto: “Would you say I have a plethora of windmills?”
Dusty Trudeau: “A what?”
Ned Nieto: “A plethora.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Oh yes, you have a plethora.”
Ned Nieto: “Dusty, what is a plethora?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Why, Ned?”
Ned Nieto: “Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Forgive me, Ned. I know that I, Dusty, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?”
Ned Nieto: “Well, you are right. I have always felt I am the junior partner in this alliance, and that you have invited me in just because you wanted my natural resources, especially oil and gas, and now that those are gone, and anyway we have to stop using them, you don’t really have much need for me. Soon it will be warm all winter in Canada and your citizens will not need to vacation in Mazatlan. I feel like perhaps I will become a burden to you.
Lucky Obama: “Oh, don’t feel that way Ned. You know you have always been a valuable brother to us, watching our southern border. We will need you there to help us stop the flow of immigrants from below. That is going to soon become very serious. You must be strong. You must be fearless.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Ned Nieto: "You must forgive me if I keep harping. When we speak to our real longings, why must we get behind the mass roll-out of unaffordable, bland, identikit housing and unsustainable cities, dead-end jobs, fracking the oceans and a financial system that channels money into a few hands when we could take a different model,of cooperating, equitable and resilient partner nations, showcasing a completely renewable energy grid, home to thriving and antifragile food economies, meeting our housing and energy needs through truly affordable, gorgeous homes and micro-grids in community ownership, supporting each other through the long-overdue disintegration of neoliberalism, creating diverse thriving working cooperatives?"
Lucky Obama:"You are such a kidder, Ned. I guess it is one side of the Donald Trump and Brexit public dialog that people feel emboldened to just say whatever comes into their heads."
Dusty Trudeau: “But at the same time, it's good that we really practice deep listening. It's only through deep listening that we can hear and connect to the longings, fear, loneliness and so on that underpins much of what we've been afraid of."
Lucky Obama: "I hear you Dusty, deeply. And what I fear you fear is the coming undone of all we have worked for, what our forefathers worked for, what they shed blood for..."
Ned Nieto: "Globalization?"
Lucky Obama: "Ned, would you rather the people of your country be part of the food chain of an offshore elite that preys on their insecurity, or would you rather be the offshore elite that eats their guacamole?"
Ned Nieto: "No, we will not die like avocados! We will fight like mescalitos! Because we are…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Picture Barack Obama as Steve Martin’s character, Lucky Day, Justin Trudeau reprising the role of Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms, and Enrique Peña Nieto playing Martin Short’s Ned Nederlander. Tagline: They're Down On Their Luck And Up To Their Necks In Senoritas, Margaritas, Banditos And Bullets!
Scene One, They are behind closed doors, seated around a table. “Well,” says Lucky Obama, “I guess you are wondering why I asked you here.”
“We are in Canada,” reminds Dusty Trudeau.
Lucky Obama: “No matter, we all know who we are don’t we? So what are we going to do about the collapse of the European Union?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.”
Ned Nieto: “Damn it!”
Lucky Obama:” What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.”
Dusty Trudeau: “I take it you are worried about the effect on trade?”
Lucky Obama: “With our trading partners in the East coming apart at the seams, we are going to have to turn our gaze westward. This is why the Trans Pacific Partnership is so important.”
Ned Nieto: “Errr, excuse me. Isn’t what that what you gringos used to say about NAFTA?”
Lucky Obama: "The prescription of withdrawing from trade deals and focusing solely on your local market, that's the wrong medicine. As North America United, we must stick together as our cross-Atlantic trading partners descend into a dogfight over the remaining scraps of their natural resources.
Dusty Trudeau: “No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are…"
Dusty Trudeau, Lucky Obama, Ned Nieto: “The Three Amigos!”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Ned Nieto: “But Lucky, about those natural resources you mentioned….”
Lucky Obama: “Yes, Ned?”
Ned Nieto: “Well you know we are out of oil now, right?”
Dusty Trudeau: “And our tar sands are stranded by low prices, the time-bomb of finance and the Paris Agreement…”
Lucky Obama: “Not to worry my little friends. We are going green! We will lead the world. This Brexit vote is not just going to knock the London finance market off its pedestal, it will gut and skewer Europe’s solar and wind manufacturing capacity. We can carve up that market and sell everything from finance packages to Tesla batteries to our new partners across the Pacific.”
Ned Nieto: “I am as committed as my amigos to producing half of our continent's power from renewable energy by 2025, but you know we are not going to be able to get there by selling margaritas to tourists in Mazatlan, we will need some help.”
Dusty Trudeau: “No amigo stands alone, Ned. Canada will put up many beautiful aluminum windmills in Mazatlan, so that our winter vacationers from Saskatchewan and Alberta can enjoy air conditioning while they sip their margaritas.”
Ned Nieto: “Many windmills?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Oh yes, many!”
Ned Nieto: “Would you say I have a plethora of windmills?”
Dusty Trudeau: “A what?”
Ned Nieto: “A plethora.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Oh yes, you have a plethora.”
Ned Nieto: “Dusty, what is a plethora?”
Dusty Trudeau: “Why, Ned?”
Ned Nieto: “Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Forgive me, Ned. I know that I, Dusty, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?”
Ned Nieto: “Well, you are right. I have always felt I am the junior partner in this alliance, and that you have invited me in just because you wanted my natural resources, especially oil and gas, and now that those are gone, and anyway we have to stop using them, you don’t really have much need for me. Soon it will be warm all winter in Canada and your citizens will not need to vacation in Mazatlan. I feel like perhaps I will become a burden to you.
Lucky Obama: “Oh, don’t feel that way Ned. You know you have always been a valuable brother to us, watching our southern border. We will need you there to help us stop the flow of immigrants from below. That is going to soon become very serious. You must be strong. You must be fearless.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Ned Nieto: "You must forgive me if I keep harping. When we speak to our real longings, why must we get behind the mass roll-out of unaffordable, bland, identikit housing and unsustainable cities, dead-end jobs, fracking the oceans and a financial system that channels money into a few hands when we could take a different model,
Lucky Obama:"You are such a kidder, Ned. I guess it is one side of the Donald Trump and Brexit public dialog that people feel emboldened to just say whatever comes into their heads."
Dusty Trudeau: “But at the same time, it's good that we really practice deep listening. It's only through deep listening that we can hear and connect to the longings, fear, loneliness and so on that underpins much of what we've been afraid of."
Lucky Obama: "I hear you Dusty, deeply. And what I fear you fear is the coming undone of all we have worked for, what our forefathers worked for, what they shed blood for..."
Ned Nieto: "Globalization?"
Lucky Obama: "Ned, would you rather the people of your country be part of the food chain of an offshore elite that preys on their insecurity, or would you rather be the offshore elite that eats their guacamole?"
Ned Nieto: "No, we will not die like avocados! We will fight like mescalitos! Because we are…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
Lucky Obama: “Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
Ned Nieto: “Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.”
Dusty Trudeau: “Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…"
All: “The Three Amigos!”
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